6.24.2003 :::
Jesus, that's sick. GET OUT OF MY MIND!
::: posted by Dan at 6/24/2003 05:48:00 PM
6.22.2003 :::
Ok,I stand corrected. though I think you might be more productive if you charced less... though it is your business. Jerry waskinda harsh with his ,er, factory of his.
Oh, and, if anyone doesn't really know where I am, I'm in Stanford at the moment. Back in three weeks.
::: posted by Dan at 6/22/2003 10:42:00 PM
6.18.2003 :::
Wow, I didn't realize you could even run out of your insightful thoughts, much less bother posting here.
::: posted by Dan at 6/18/2003 12:12:00 PM
6.17.2003 :::
Ben, I am very disappointed with you. Do you always have to be a cynic? There are clear reasons why you're the only one posting here- we're all doing something outside of our computers. I myself am tripping down to campus nearly every day with Kirill, and while it may not be the image of social normality, it gets me away from my house, which is a fucking bore, even if I do have an internet to fool around with, or a PS2 to play. Get out, get some rays, or whatever new elements you might not have discovered yet. We don't really need to hear about your bitching on this blog, go do it on yours. I mean, we all really want to hear about your elderly relations. Also, if you're going to insult the blog by calling it a "rat hole of a site," at least give it the proper credits- this is really more of my site than anyone else's, even Jerry. Or maybe not, as I am slowly losing interest in it- as I should be. Either way, don't expect to post here anytime soon.
::: posted by Dan at 6/17/2003 10:33:00 PM
6.13.2003 :::
Fuck.
I open with my traditional introduction because it FITS. The german class is fucking around in Germany, learning the finer point of leiderhosen and similarly absurd things, and there's like three of us here, and only I ever post anything. So nothing's fucking happening. Plus, the summer was already killing our posts because we couldn't talk about things the happened in school, so all I have that's funny is this, the tale of a self-deluded sorcerer. Fuck, if I knew where he lived I'd teach him a thing or two about, I don't know, something. But the guy's an idiot, find a picture of him. Now, I have go and tell my sister that spider's can't hurt her.
::: posted by Lee the Agent at 6/13/2003 04:09:00 PM
6.09.2003 :::
Jeremiah Bear awoke in the forest, on a very sleepy summer evening. He felt a rumble in his tummy, and knew it was time to venture off into the jungle, and hunt wild Tiggers. He walked into the jungle, and there was Tigger, but Tigger was far too clever for Jeremiah Bear. Jeremiah Bear was very old and fat, and could not keep up with Tigger. Suddenly Jeremiah Bear had an a-ha! and tumbled down the hill. As he tumbled down the hill, he came into a magical place, where in the middle of a magical clearing, lay a magical monkey. Next to the magical monkey was a magical sign. Jeremiah Bear magically read the magical sign. Jeremiah Bear was far too stupid to read, but this was a magical place, and in magical places, magical things happen. Jeremiah Bear chortled to himself as he magically read the magical sign. It magically said "Do not stroke this monkey." At first, Jeremiah Bear took this metaphorically, but he then realized that since he was in a world of magic, it was to be taken literally. Jeremiah Bear began to walk away, but it occurred to Jeremiah Bear that perhaps a magical witch had placed the magical sign here in order to magically fool him. Thus, Jeremiah Bear began to magically stroke the monkey. It immediately came to life, magically, and said "I am the Tedmonkey. Thank you Jeremiah Bear for freeing me from this prison. In return, I will give you any wish, the only restrictions being that it must be a wish I can actually grant. Thus, I am limited to giving you lots of protein powder or teaching you how to become an obsessive runner like me." Jeremiah Bear pondered this, and after some minutes of befuddled Bearthought, it dawned upon him that learning how to run would allow him to snare a wild Tigger. Thus, Jeremiah Bear began his magical running lessons, and they were very magical indeed. Within hours, he was the fastest creature in the land. Jeremiah Bear magically thanked Tedmonkey, then dashed off into a new world of dreams to find himself a Tigger. As soon as Tigger saw Jeremiah Bear, he cleverly began to sprint, his long legs moving just fast enough to pace his shimmering bouncy tail. Tigger quickly bounced into a roadblock, however, which magically enough, was Jeremiah Bear. Tigger was a very clever Tigger, indeed, but not clever enough. Jeremiah Bear made Tigger into a very wonderful sandwich, which he and Christopher Robin very much enjoyed.
THE END
::: posted by Anonymous at 6/09/2003 11:48:00 PM
6.08.2003 :::
Everyone needs to rent the Animatrix. It's great, it has good art and it goes into the way the machines took over. If you pay attention, the thing is a big-ass reference to Revelation from the bible. Really. That's pretty damned cool. Still, I warn you that a few of the artists suck ass and draw people ass ugly as they can without any real reason. Art should be beautiful, damn it. Also, most of the explanation stories are kind of Akira-ish so if you don't like to see humanity at its worst and see people's heads crushed, you're not going to want to watch those episodes. Oh, and the last episode has NO meaning. It is nothing more than a PCP-induced fantasy that some fucker thought would make GREAT anime, so he just threw in some VR crap to make it "reasonable" and did it. Don't watch it and you'll walk away far happier.
By the way, bling-bling is in the fucking Oxford English Dictionary. It is a fucking REAL part of the god-damned english language. It is a dark god-damned day, man.
::: posted by Lee the Agent at 6/08/2003 01:53:00 PM
6.07.2003 :::
Jesus, people can't seem to spell masturbation right. This is the second ime someone's cum here via the search word "maturbation."
Jesus.
::: posted by Dan at 6/07/2003 11:47:00 PM
Okay, I take it back. Get rid of the fucking shout outs.
::: posted by Lee the Agent at 6/07/2003 03:50:00 PM
6.05.2003 :::
Wow, I'm posting something real.
Today, I went to my little sister's softball game and it was a scary experience. Her coaches were this extremely fat woman, and these two other women with short hair who my dad seemed convinced were lesbians. Probably because they are, but whatever. I'll get to that later. Anyways her team blew ass, especially compared to the other team, which seemed to have a 10 or 11 year old boy posing as an 8 year old girl that could hit homeruns. She really looked like a guy and she was huge to boot.
So my dad was in a perverted mood and was pissed off at my sister's blatant lack of skill. After we watched her strike out on 3 successive pitches, a fat teammate of hers stepped up to the plate. When she missed badly on 2 pitches, the 2 possibly-lesbian coaches rushed out to assist her with her swing.
My stepmom says "Why didn't they help Elenor?"
My dad laughs and says "Cause this girl is their love child." I start laughing, and my stepmom gets really pissed off, because by this point, my dad is laughing way harder than I am.
Later, the 3 coaches were huddling together, and my dad mumbled something, the only word I heard being 'threesome'. Then he started laughing really hard and my stepmom got really pissed yet again, except more so this time.
Yeah...
::: posted by Anonymous at 6/05/2003 09:58:00 PM
6.03.2003 :::
Dan, do your parents still want me to call them???
Well, I guess I will anyways.
Umm... I'm feeling pretty paranoid, what with all the stuff that's been going on. Do you guys think I can get in trouble for the stuff I've put up on here, like using teachers in Gay Baby eps and stuff? Cause I can't get in any trouble at all next semester, or I'm out. But I don't want to delete this blog, because of my deep affections for it. Can we privatize it or something? Yes, I'm probably worrying about nothing. But the other thing should never have exploded the way it had, and this is my only other transgression...
::: posted by Anonymous at 6/03/2003 05:36:00 PM
6.02.2003 :::
Everyone needs to go to hrgiger.com and revel in the art of somebody who is, as far as I can tell, bat shit crazy. And why can't I put up pictures, damn it? Most of them don't affect the layout at all, unlike Jerry's manly hulk of a penis. Oooooh...
::: posted by Lee the Agent at 6/02/2003 08:21:00 PM
Congratulations to the first person to read these words, you are the Grainger Walk's 300th viewer! Yay, you get:
-A sex slave inflatible monkey
-A 5 years supply of trojan extra small condoms
-A NEW CARd deck
-A free lifetime subscription to Richard Simmons' Hot Hot Body
Stay tuned for more special prize events...
::: posted by Dan at 6/02/2003 12:12:00 PM
6.01.2003 :::
Alright alright, I'm posting.
We are now more than halfway through our high school careers. The blog has now officially recognized that. Amen.
Like I've said before, shout outs are gone until Jerry puts them up... simple as that. And please, ben, don't directly put images on the blog. It's just unsightly. (for marital matters, you can consult MILF hunter)
I have nothign really to talk about... except that I spent the weekend going out with kirill in hot, sensual dates....
::: posted by Dan at 6/01/2003 10:57:00 PM
I maintain that you didn't do anything that bad. If anything, it's that you apoligized to people who weren't hurt in any way and then played putt-putt golf. Fuck, putt-putt golf. Jesus, I suppose the whimsical animals and windmills were ANOTHER line crossed? I imagine you struggled with your morals as you attempted an angled shot on hole 5. Bah.
That was nothing, man. It doesn't even count as wacky, much less a misadventure or even "caper". What you need to do is set up an AD business and connected website through which we will make money arranging dates with Barr, then fake his death and keep it. Or, for something that would work, we could set up a porn site but just sell pictures of various animals in amusing poses, arguing that some people really do enjoy it. Hm. Later tonight I may have a truly decent idea, but I can't stay up until 4 because I have to learn the laws of driving, which nobody follows anyway.
And what happened to shout-outs, you bastards? Damn youuuu!
My wife/mother
::: posted by Lee the Agent at 6/01/2003 04:32:00 PM
I guess the blog is dying, nobody's posted in six days. Look, it's not that hard. Just say something about Barr having sex with morris while inside her, or Jerry raping corpses, or Max giving it to Wysocki (hot with a capital HOT). Somebody get on this.
::: posted by Lee the Agent at 6/01/2003 12:17:00 PM
